The “Yours, Mine And Ours” School Of Budgeting

“You purchased what? And it value how a lot?”

Be trustworthy: Have you ever ever been known as out by your partner for spending an excessive amount of? Or possibly you’ve been the one to bristle at a recent batch of procuring luggage introduced residence by your higher half?

Bankrate’s newest monetary infidelity survey revealed that 30 % of U.S. adults who’re married or residing with a romantic accomplice have spent greater than their partner/accomplice could be okay with. That makes secret spending the commonest type of monetary infidelity, a broader class that additionally contains secret debt (23 %), secret financial savings accounts (19 %), secret bank cards (18 %) and secret checking accounts (17 %).

The most typical clarification amongst those that have dedicated monetary infidelity is “privateness/a need to regulate my very own funds.” However even this well-intentioned clarification can drive a wedge into relationships, making it essential to discover a strategy to preserve some monetary independence, whereas additionally working towards shared monetary objectives. The “yours, mine and ours” method might be the reply.

How “yours, mine and ours” works

The idea is fairly easy: “Yours, mine and ours” budgets are made up of a mixture of joint and separate monetary accounts. Every member of the couple will get an agreed-upon amount of cash that they will spend as they want, whereas the remainder of the funds — normally the bulk — are mixed into one account to pay joint family bills.

The bottom line is to agree upon the particular parameters forward of time. As an example, you would possibly designate a sure sum, comparable to $100 per pay interval, for particular person spending exterior of your shared account. Or possibly it’s a share. No matter you determine, it’s essential to be on the identical web page. When one particular person squirrels cash away with out the opposite’s information, that’s monetary infidelity.

Agreeing that you just every have some cash that’s yours and yours alone generally is a wholesome strategy to foster independence and nip monetary squabbles within the bud. You now not have your partner or accomplice wanting over your shoulder and questioning how a lot you spent on nights out with pals, video video games, new sneakers … you get the concept.

How totally different generations view cash and relationships

Our survey discovered that “yours, mine and ours” is the commonest association amongst Gen Xers (ages 44 to 59) and millennials (ages 28 to 43) who’re married or residing with a romantic accomplice, at 40 % and 36 %, respectively.

As compared, 36 % of Gen Xers and 33 % of millennials fully mix their funds with their partner or accomplice, whereas 24 % and 32 %, respectively, preserve their funds fully separate. So though monetary preparations are a reasonably blended bag, the “yours, mine and ours” method leads the way in which.

Child boomers (ages 60 to 78) are the probably technology to totally mix their funds with their partner or accomplice (44 %). A mixture of joint and separate accounts is shut behind (40 %), with solely 16 % choosing the fully separate method.

Gen Zers (ages 18 to 27), against this, are the probably to maintain their cash fully separate from their partner or accomplice (38 %). Some 34 % of Gen Zers in live-in romantic relationships totally mix their funds, whereas 28 % have a mixture of joint and separate accounts.

Including the entire generations collectively, 39 % of U.S. adults who’re married or residing with a accomplice fully mix their funds, 38 % have a mixture of joint and separate accounts and 24 % preserve their funds totally separate.

Does how a lot you make have an effect on the way you handle your cash?

Slicing by revenue, “yours, mine and ours” is the commonest method for {couples} in all however the lowest revenue bracket (these incomes lower than $50,000 per yr). Amongst that group, “yours, mine and ours” is a distant third, however in each different revenue vary ($50,000 to $79,999, $80,000 to $99,999 and $100,000+), “yours, mine and ours” got here in barely forward of totally joint accounts, with full monetary separation a distant third.

The underside line

Whereas each couple ought to make its personal choices, I feel there’s quite a bit to love concerning the “yours, mine and ours” method. Cash is without doubt one of the largest sources of battle in relationships, and carving out some funds which can be totally yours may give you a higher sense of autonomy and restrict resentment.

No matter you determine, ensure you and your accomplice agree upon the framework. Goal to schedule occasional cash dates to examine in in your progress towards short- and long-term monetary objectives.


Bankrate commissioned YouGov Plc to conduct the survey. All figures, except in any other case said, are from YouGov Plc. Whole pattern measurement was 2,233 U.S. adults, of whom 1,124 have been married or residing with a accomplice on the time of the survey. The fieldwork was undertaken December 18-20, 2023. The survey was carried out on-line and meets rigorous high quality requirements. The figures have been weighted to be consultant of all the U.S grownup inhabitants 18 years and older.

Have a query about bank cards? E-mail me at and I’d be joyful to assist.

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin

Related Posts

Table of Contents

Find our article helpful?

Join our newsletter!

Scroll to Top